Label Me This...

"Stupid is as Stupid Does." Remember these 5 words as said so famously by Tom Hanks, as Forrest Gump? I think the whole country was repeating this line for months and months after the movie came out...actually, we were probably repeating it for years.

In that movie, Forrest Gump believed that he was stupid...because that's what he was told. However, everything he did proved that theory wrong. He pushed through and showed everyone around him - those that knew him (and didn't know him) - just how "not stupid" he really was.

Now, bring this to today - to our kids. They get told so many messages to put in their own little playback devices in their minds. "Smartest" "Coolest" "Nerd" "Dork" "Pretty" "Chubby" "Fat" "Skinny" "Shorty" "Pale" "Brainiac" "Dumb" "Clown" "Goofy" "Bully" and yes, "Stupid". And these are only a handful of the labels our kids hear on a daily basis. It's no wonder when it comes to actually concentrating on what they should be concentrating on - school work - that they can't always do that. They are too worried about keeping up with the labels, or getting out from under them. And the worst part of all of it...Not one of them asked for these labels. As my 8 year old told me the other day, "There's just way too many names to tell you mom. Everyone calls someone something. Good and Bad."

He's right. I've realized in our house just how many labels we use for each other without even knowing it. We set expectations for each other, we put each other down - all without even realizing it. I have always had the rule that the word "stupid" was not allowed in the house under any circumstance. I thought I was doing such a great job with this rule...making my kids feel like they could do anything and never allowing them to put themselves down. But, what I didn't realize it all the other labels I was allowing.

So, my challenge to you and your family is to take the labels away. Like everything else, it all starts at home. Help our kids have one less issue to have to compete with everyday. Teach them that it's REALLY ok to just be themselves. Start a "label" jar or "label" poster where every time you hear one of your family members (mom and dad - this means you, too) put a label on someone (even joking!), you add a quarter to the jar, or a point to the poster. At the end of the month add up the points or the money and go out for ice cream, or have the person with the most points do someone else's chores for the week (the person who got the least points). Any way you chose to do it...just do it. You'll start to realize just how much you're actions at home are rubbing off on your kids - and next time they start to call someone a name or even just stand by while someone else does it - they'll think twice, or maybe even stop it.

Daily Planner.

Today, I am the clock. A buzzer that says "get up," "let's go" and "get ready."
Today, I am calendar. A lunch menu. A concierge.
Today, I am a short order cook, a waitress, a busboy, a dishwasher.
Today, I am a dry cleaner, a maid, a stylist and a personal assistant.

Today, I am a pastry chef, an artist, a sculptor, a critic.

Today, I am a producer, a cameraman, a director, a writer and an audience - all at once, and individually.

Today, I am the opposing team and the teammate.
Today, I am the coach.

Today, I am Mario, Darth Vader, Harry Potter and Yoda.
Today, we conquer the galaxy.

Today, I am the librarian and the story teller.
Today, I am the architect and the builder.

Today, I am the music teacher, the singer, the dancer and the groupie.

Today, I am the tutor, the science lab professor, the explorer, the museum guide and conqueror of fears.
Today, I am the taxi driver.

Today, I am the calculator and the dictionary.
Today, I am the teacher.

Today, I am the confidant and the comedian.
Today, I am the boss and the friend.

Today, I am mom.

Yesterday and Tomorrow?... See Today.

The "I" in Involved

Being involved is about more than baking cookies these days. It seems that everywhere you turn there is a way to sign up, donate, give time and more when it comes to being a part of your kids educations. There is no right or wrong way to do it. There's just finding the YOUR PLACE in involvement. The "I", as I like to call it. It doesn't matter what you do, just as long as you're doing it - and doing it the way that makes sense for you and your family.

Being involved can take the shape of many things. It can be the parent who is there every night that reads, checks the homework, plays "hi/lo" at the dinner table (one of my fave's), and recounts the daily gossip between family members. We keep up to date and up to speed on our kids lives like this. We find out what's going on, and we communicate. We are involved. This type of involvement may not take the shape of the daily school interaction of PTO meetings, volunteering in the classroom, or baking 200 homemade cupcakes, but it's serious involvement. And it counts - big time.

There's the involvement of the parent that volunteers at the school in any way needed. This parent is the first on the sign up sheets, chairs or co-chairs committees, teacher's know him/her by name in the hallway and never hesitate to ask for help when they need it. We love seeing our kids at school in their element. We love being a part of their daily lives. And we love helping to shape the future of the school in any way possible. This is our contribution back to our community, and our kids. It also makes a big difference.

Then there's the combination - those of us that give a little of our time to school when we can, and as much time at home as we can. We read to classes, donate school supplies, and buy store bought cupcakes for bake sales and class parties :). While in the same day, we take kids from one sport to the next, talking about the day in the car while eating from a packed cooler as we move from one kid's activity to the next. We get home, work on homework, review the days events and pack up to get ready to do it all again the next day.

No matter where YOU are in your level of involvement, it's important that you're just there. Knowing what your kids are doing everyday. What they have for homework, who their friends are, what their day was like and even what goes on in their classrooms. Asking questions - of your kids and of their school - can be what makes or breaks a year for your child. Know when there may be problems before it's too late. Celebrate their accomplishments. Understand their frustrations and help them get through their bad days.

Make the most out of this year with your children. Back to school isn't just for kids. Find out how you can make this your best year too.

Tutor Doctor Quiz:

The two biggest questions we get at Tutor Doctor:
Take our 2 question quiz... Then, watch the video and see how well you did :).
1. Where do we tutor? At our location or in your home?
2. Do we work with our own pre-designed curriculum, or do we build a tailored curriculum around your student's learning needs and styles?

We're here for you, your students and their success. Contact us for more info on how we can help you.

TD Takeaway of the Day: An App a Day, Keeps Learning OK!

We all know that keeping our kids focused on some sort of learning activity is the way to go over the summer. The amount of knowledge lost over the 3 months is amazing if we don't keep their brains tuned and trained in some sort of way!

If your schedule is as nuts as our family's is during the summer, finding the time to make sure math is focused on (or science, reading, maybe a foreign language), well, it's almost next to impossible some days. So, I turned to my iPhone. Now we have AWESOME math apps to keep with us and keep my son's brain in full gear no matter where we are or how much - or how little - time we may have. Whether it's addition, subtraction, multiplication, time or money skills...the iPhone has it covered for us! He even uses the eReader to read new books when we forget our library books at home and we're stuck in the car, the ice rink, the grocery store - you name it!

But shhhh... he feels like it's a video game. So, the amount of time he "plays" on the apps is awesome. It's learning and he doesn't even realize it!

TD Takeaway of the Day: TNT!

TNT! Someone said this to me recently as I was trying to decide when to start a new exercise program. "TNT" he said. I just stared blankly at him. "TODAY... NOT TOMORROW!"

TNT has become a new motto around our house and one that I am instilling in the families I work with. Think about the decisions you are faced with everyday. The decisions you put off making. The decisions your kids put of making. And of course, the decisions you put off making for your kids. Make TNT part of your life! Say it out loud when everyone is trying to decide what to do. When the procrastination and excuses start (and we all know they will), yell out"TNT!" You'll get funny looks at first, but I promise, it'll start making a difference. Put up sticky notes or index cards with "TNT" on them around the house... keep those excuses away and your determination in the starting block.

It's funny how little things can make big changes in our lives. All of those "I'll start it tomorrows" you've said over the months...well, it's time to TNT those. Start the reading time. Try the new math worksheets the teacher sent home for summer. Start the one-on-one Mom/Dad and Kiddo time. Pick a date for that family game night you've been planning for so long. Sit down for that family meal you keep meaning to do. Take the cooking lessons. Try the karate class. JUST GO TO THE GYM :). Learn a foreign language. Start a journal.

No matter what it is... Just remember "TNT!"

At the intersection of Parent St., Child Rd. and Teacher Ave.

Finding the Shot

This one is personal. I get asked many times why I got into this business - and honestly, I could probably answer it on many different levels: "I've always been an entrepreneur and loved owning my own business." "Being my own boss is great!" "Working with kids and their families is wonderful." There are so many answers... I could go on and on and on. But, honestly, there is one reason that hits very close to home which answers it all. And it centers around a puck, a sitck, and a sheet of ice...oh and and my son.

I lost my son in 2nd grade. Not really lost him, like I couldn't physically find him, but emotionally lost him. I LOST who he was, his smile, his energy, his spirit...HIM. It was during a move, a transition for him at the beginning of the school year. My son - who is by all counts a pretty spectacular kid (ok, so I'm biased) - is pretty shy, but over time truly becomes the "Mayor'' or "Norm" (from Cheers) pretty quickly in most situations. He ended up in a class, in a school, that wasn't him, with a teacher that never truly saw him. Because of this, he lost himself and everything about him. We went from a kid who loved to read, to a kid who hated to read. A kid that loved math, to a kid that threw his homework across the table because he was "stupid" (and we don't use that word in our house.) A kid who loved being with other kids, to a kid who wanted to just be at home. Like I said, I lost my son.

However, we found hockey. He found hockey. He found a uniform, a hockey mask, a jersey, a stick, a place that he could be anyone he wanted to be. A place that he was invincible. And it was from hockey that we started seeing our son come back to life. When he stepped on the ice, he was awake again, smiling again. Coaches saw him, people believed in him... and more than that, he believed in himself. Two times a week I saw my son again... If you're a mom, you can understand how this felt.

We ended up moving and into another school district where our son was welcomed with open arms and open minds. Within days I saw glimpses of the old kid I had always known. He was playing again, making friends again and loving school again. He had a teacher that took an interest in him and saw him for the child he truly IS. It was amazing.

He once told me that when he got sad in the old school, he imagined he was playing hockey and it made him smile. I have no doubt that the worst months that we went through would have been even worse without those skates and ice...in fact, I know it. I sit here today still watching him with tears in my eyes everytime knowing that he found who HE is through a tough journey, but he found it nonetheless. I have Tutor Doctor because of my son's journey... I help other families and kids find their voices when no one else maybe listening, and while I'm doing it, I can make sure they have the help in school that they need to succeed.

You never know where your goals will come from. For us, we scored on the ice... Find where your child becomes invincible, if only for an hour a week and run with it. Cultivate it. Embrace it. This is a journey you'll take together and you'll never be sorry for it.

Turn Around.

As I was watching an interview with Sean and Leigh Anne Touhy I was struck by a simple phrase they said, "Turn Around." Sean and Leigh Anne, for those of you that aren't aware, were made famous by the movie "The Blind Side" that captured the amazing story of their life after adopting Michael Oher off the streets of Memphis and transforming his life through love, family and education. Michael, as many of you know, went on to graduate high school, college and become a future first round draft pick and NFL star for the Baltimore Ravens. NONE of this would have happened without someone turning around.

One simple phrase, Turn Around. That's what did it. Leigh Anne said to her husband when she saw Michael walking on the streets that night when they were driving home - the night that they picked him up. Literally, they turned around and they put him in their car. And that was that. But from that moment Micheal's life was turned around.

Life gets busy for all of us and we have a way of always looking in front of us, forgetting to see what's going on in every other direction. TURN AROUND and see others. TURN AROUND and see how YOU can help. TURN AROUND and see what amazing things your child is doing, discovering and feeling. TURN AROUND and ask if YOU can PLAY! TURN AROUND and PARTICIPATE.

Everyday, I listen to parents and students and help them have a voice when they may not have had one before. Many times the journey to me has been long and tough. There are plenty of kids that are slipping between the cracks because no one is helping them find their voice - or no one is hearing them once they find it.

TURN AROUND and BE PRESENT. Don't live your life thinking and waiting for someone else to do it - because they may not. Give a child a hand, an education, a round of applause. At the end of the day, you both will feel fuller than you ever thought possible. By simply turning around, you can turn around and empower a life.

Thanks Leigh Anne Tuohy.

"Mom / Dad... I'm Bored!"

How many parents have heard this phrase this summer? Probably too many of you to count, right? Doesn't matter how old your kids are, the word "bored" go across the ages. I find myself saying phrases that my own mother use to say to me - and ones that I promised I would never say to my own kids. "You can't be bored, you just woke up." "Only boring people get bored." "There are a million things to do." "Grab the vacuum, there's plenty of things to clean." "Grab a book and read." And of course, "Don't you have a room FULL of things to NOT be bored with?" What I forget is that these didn't work with me (cue the eye rolling) and they don't work with my kids. (cue the shock music)

Our friends at FoxValleyMom.com put together a list of GREAT solutions/ideas for an enjoyable summer - here's just a few - some more perfect for teens, some perfect for all ages:

1. Work at a local business: Why? Because at some point we ALL need to understand the importance of customer service (in my opinion).
2. Volunteer: There is NOTHING more rewarding - and even though your kids may not admit it at first, they will feel this too.
3. Take a Class / Brush up on Skills: There are SO many options during the summer...pottery, martial arts, painting, theatre, learn a language!
   
4. Residential Work: Good old fashioned lawn mowing, mother's helpers, babysitting, dog walking, flower watering
5. Recreational Activities: Waterparks, mini golf, go karts, the Zoo, bike rides and SO much more!
   

Read the entire article and check out all the great resources that FoxValleyMom.com has for the hip mom and her kids in the Fox Valley area! I promise...the words, "I'm bored" will soon be a distant memory.

Diary of an... Engaged Kid!

So, on the heels of the ever popular and always entertaining "Diary of Wimpy Kid" movie and book series, my own son - a rising 3rd grader - is now setting off in creating his own "Diary/Journal" of his own life and times. This got me to thinking...What other books are out there that could create a new world of adventure or stir up a side of his imagination that maybe hadn't been tapped into yet?

Always on the lookout for some new way to engage him - and the rest of our family - in some new activity (other than another PS3 or Wii game), I have set out on a quest. And trust me, it's amazing what you can find. We've gone through the entire Harry Potter set and cast spells around our house on each other to get things done. We've turned our house into the Millenium Falcon and made life size cut outs from our favorite characters of the Star Wars BOOKS (not movies... the books are far more in depth and awesome for a kid to get lost in them - especially on the Boba/Jengo Fett front). We're introducing Big Nate into our family and seeing if he and Greg Heffley (of "Diary" fame) could actually be friends. We've discovered the amazing talents of Matt Christopher and his sports books, and found a way to tie a love of reading into an 8 yr olds love of hockey.

Next on the list...Reading what I consider to be some of my childhood classics - Rohald Dahl books. Imagine what we can do with "James and the Giant Peach", "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", "The Fantasic Mr.Fox" and "Boy."

The coolest part of all of this? Every adventure is being recorded in my son's "Diary"...all started by a book. He's even titled his version "Diary of a Wimpy Kid. The new wimp." I have to say, I was pretty proud. He's tied in his love of reading, with his love of writing (which we had to really work with him on in 2nd grade), and his love of drawing (not sure where he gets that from!)

Create your adventure with your kids. And make it a family affair...re-read classics with them, or new series for the first time. Make it a family book club. You'll be amazed and thrilled at the fun times and outcomes that you get from each discussion and activity you can create. Plus, you get to read some pretty cool books that as an adult you normally wouldn't get to read!

If you're looking for suggestions on starting some activities or a family book club reading list, let me know! We certainly have lots of them.

Here are some GREAT ideas for Day Trips focused completely around children's books that get you and your kids thinking - and take reading and discussing to an entire new level! Have fun!
Reading Day Trips!

TD Takeaway of the Day:

I read a quote from a special ed teacher today that really struck me...
"I am constantly asking myself: What can I do for children? This simple yet profound question provides the focus I need when the going gets tough. This question keeps me in the mode of turning my passion into performance. I’m talking about purposeful performance that links my core values with an empathetic awareness of the views of those around me."

All children should be fortunate enough to have teachers who act, feel, think and teach in this way every day. All teachers should remember WHY they started teaching in the first place. And all parents, well, we just need to remember that this is a JOINT effort and we can get as much out of our kids, schools and teachers as we put into it.

Top 5 Questions to ask when looking for a tutor

There are many different tutoring services out there and it can be a dizzying adventure trying to pick the right tutor for yourself or your child. Here are some things to keep in mind when choosing a tutor or a tutoring service.

1. Is there a fee for an assessment or consultation and is it required?
Some services require you to pay upfront for an assessment before they will recommend a package. These fees can range from $50-$200. You may go through the assessment and then find you cannot afford the tutoring services proposed.

2. Do they have customized packages?
Some tutoring services only have standard packages and will not be flexible.

3. Do they use their own curriculum or do thy follow the student's curriculum?

Some tutoring services will introduce the student to a brand new curriculum in addition to the curriculum the student has to absorb at school. If you or your child are struggling, learning a new curriculum rather than focusing on the existing curriculum may not be wise.

4. Do they provide in-home tutoring or center based tutoring?
Some tutoring services are center based only which means one more trip for the student and for the parent/guardian to fit into a busy day's schedule, while other tutor services come to the home or will meet the student at a convenient location.

5. What is the tutor to student ratio?
Some services will have a 4 to 1 student to tutor ratio or higher, while in-home tutoring services can offer a much more desirable and focused one-to-one tutor to student ratio. If you are looking for individualized attention and need a focused learning atmosphere, one-to-one will be much more conducive to improved learning skills and better grades.

No matter what route you go, make sure you do your own homework, and that not only are your child's learning needs being met, but their personality is too. Your student's tutor can make all the difference in the world.

TD Takeaway of the Day:

“Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.”
Sometimes, we all forget to do this with our kids. Find out how your child learns and what makes him excited. Help them be a part of all of that their world has to offer. I promise, it'll make your world, seem just a little bit better.

Communities need to work together to avoid students' academic "slide" during summer break

When school children close their books in June, they too often forget about reading, writing and arithmetic until September rolls around.

For teachers that means a fall filled with remedial work. Educators typically spend four to six weeks getting students back to where they were at the end of the previous academic year. A study done in the Grand Rapids Public Schools from 2003 and 2004 showed the summer learning loss reached almost 40 percent for some students.

The phenomenon is so universally recognized it has a name: summer slide.

A group of local organizers is looking for a way to halt the slide. The campaign, if done right, can lead to educational efficiency, relieving teachers of the chore of covering the same ground. In addition, the developing program would address inequities. Children in lower-income homes are more likely to suffer summer learning loss than children in middle-class and upper-income homes.

Beyond summer programs that turn attention to books instead of video games, educators should explore the way the school year is structured. Does a long summer break make sense anymore? Does the 180-day school year — altered to 1,098 hours of instruction in Michigan — best serve students, especially when countries that are our economic rivals keep kids in classrooms longer? Should local districts experiment more with year-round school as a solution to learning loss?

Studies in the United States show that all students, regardless of socioeconomic background, fall behind in math skills over the summer, losing on average 2.6 months. Educators believe this is because math isn’t typically practiced outside the classroom.

In reading, however, income disparity sharpens. Children in low-income households lose on average two months in reading ability. Middle- and upper-income children hold their own or make slight gains. Experts believe that lower-income youngsters have fewer opportunities for brain-stimulating cultural enrichment during summer months, whether trips to zoos, museums or national parks.

The academic gap extends far beyond a single school year. A study done by researchers at Johns Hopkins University tracked Baltimore school children from 1st grade through age 22. The study found that summer learning accounted for 65 percent of the learning gap between upper-income students who attended college and low-income high school dropouts.

In other words, the decline is cumulative. Effectively addressing summer loss, and doing so early on, can make a huge difference for youngsters who might otherwise fall off the track academically and fall through the cracks of society.

A number of local organizations from government, non-profits and churches came together recently to address summer slide. The groups include the Grand Rapids Public Schools, Heart of West Michigan United Way and the Douglas and Maria DeVos Foundation. Those involved believe they can make use of existing summer programs and try to use them more effectively. That goal merits support.

One example of a simple program that works is in the Kalamazoo Public Schools. There every student entering sixth grade next fall will be mailed eight books over the course of the summer. The students will be asked to read the books and send postcards, which will be answered. A pilot study done with some incoming sixth graders showed participants advanced four months in reading test scores. Those who didn’t take part lost one-and-a-half months.

The Kalamazoo program this year will involve 900 youngsters and cost the district $74,000. That’s a modest sum for substantial gains.

Parents, of course, are the ultimate tutors. They should insist that when their kids aren’t outside riding bikes or running around, they’re spending at least some of their summer days reading books. Whether “Treasure Island,” “Harry Potter” or “Clifford the Big Red Dog,” a world of possibility awaits, now and in the future.

Source - Grand Rapids Press Editorial Board 03.10.10

Make it count

I found this quote today and I instantly connected with it.
"Do the difficult things while they are easy and do great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."

What will your journey be? Can you take your family with you? What kind of journey are you showing you kids everyday? I realized that too often I forget that everyday is an opportunity for greatness. That's what I want to instill in my kids.

My own son has had his struggles finding his place - last year was one of his, and our, toughest so far. Watching him struggle in school, with friends, with transitions and with his own anxieties and fears broke my heart hourly. But, we found our voice. He found his voice. And we created and turned it into one of the best adventures to date. It was all part of finding out how strong we all were - and finding what our path was together. It led me to the journey I'm on now. I get to be the voice for so many other families that don't have one, can't find theirs, or simply have no idea how to have theirs heard.

Find your journey. Start today.