Thanks to our friends at Psychologytoday.com for these great bits of information!
1. What ultimately is the goal a parent should have in mind when they select/offer ideas to their children of what to do this summer?
Parents should always be thinking about what they want their children to get out of their summer. Take a look at anything that fosters kids' physical, intellectual, social, spiritual, environmental, cultural, and artistic development. In other words, what are the experiences you can provide that will further your children's greater understanding of themselves and the world in which they live.
Also, parents should focus on summer activities that encourage certain values that parents want to instill in their children, for example, hard work, compassion, or learning about other cultures. If children are into sports, the arts, or another specialized area, activity-specific camps or other experiences devoted to these are a great way to allow them to enjoy themselves and help them improve and strive toward their goals. If you can't find one that matches your schedule or your budget, try putting one on yourself for your children and their friends. It may sound like a lot of work, but actually it's a lot of fun and the experience you'll get out of it with your children and their friends is priceless. There are many ways to do this - a week, three days, etc.. And pick a theme. You can ask friends to bring supplies, as well. Keep it to a half day or few hours and only a few children. At the end of the week, have a final project to send home with the kids! You wont believe how much fun this time can be!!
Of course, having some summer activities that are just plain fun is important too.
2. What role does our popular culture play in these decisions?Parents feel a lot of pressure these days to "keep up with the Joneses," meaning they feel like if they're not doing what the Joneses are doing, then they will be viewed as bad parents. My advice is to "make the Joneses jealous." While the Joneses are doing what everyone else is doing (sometimes quite unhappily), you can be doing what your family wants to do. The ability to make this decision to buck the system comes from thinking deliberately about your family's values and interests and making conscious choices based on those priorities.
3. What specific ideas can you offer parents to do with their 13-18 year olds this summer?
Summer jobs are one of the most powerful experiences teenagers can have. I think manual labor or mundane labor is especially good learning experience for teens, particularly in the privileged and insulated world in which many kids are raised these days. I worked as a waitress and retail cashier all through high school and college. It showed me the value of hard work, the direct relationship between earning a wage and serving others (literally), and how and what most people expect from others who are working for them. It also taught me the VALUE of being a great communicator.
Summers are also a great time to get kids involved in household responsibilities. They should be assigned chores that contribute to the upkeep and functioning of the house. Painting a room, cleaning out the garage, or being in charge of recycling are all great ways to teach kids responsibility and get the house into shape.
Family activities should also be included summer plans. Family outings are a great way for you to connect with and strengthen your relationship with their kids and do fun things together. The best summer family activities are those in which parents and children share a new and unique experience, visit a place totally unfamiliar to everyone, or do something that requires a family to interact in different ways. For example, one family I know spent two weeks helping to build a house for Habitat for Humanity. Another family spent a week camping the mountains.
4. What role does boredom play in summer activities? Does boredom have any value?
Boredom happens when kids have too much free time on their hands. And summers, when kids aren't in school and may not have as much structure in their days, are a potential breeding ground for boredom.
I still remember to this day, my mom saying to me "Only boring people get bored." While this may not have been the greatest message, it defintely GOT to me and I understood it and remembered it throughout my life. I never wanted to be seen as a boring person, so I always made sure that I found and had something to do.
Boredom can also be a great tool for development if it's handled properly. Too often these days, when kids get bored, parents give them something to entertain them, such as put them in front of a TV or computer or send them to the mall. But boredom can encourage creativity and self-initiative. When kids tell their parents they are bored, the parents should say, "So, what are you going to do about it?" Parents can offer activities that are healthy, such as organizing informal soccer games, going to parks and museums, or doing chores around the house (that will get kids motivated to find something to do for themselves!).
At the same time, I do think a part of summer should be devoted to down time, meaning just hanging out at home and taking it easy (but that doesn't mean sitting in front of a screen for easy entertainment). Kids need time to rest and recharge. So much of kids' lives these days are programmed and go, go, go. But this time should not comprise the bulk of the summer, but rather be a short period, perhaps a week, before school begins.
5. How does a parent address the fact if a child does NOT want to do, attend or volunteer at a certain activity?
There is a saying, "Doing nothing is not an option." Kids have to do something with their summers. You can give your kids some options from which they must choose, including some form of work. But I believe that kids should be forced to do something.
One family I know has a rule: one thing the parents want the kids to do and one thing the kids want to do. This rule amounts to a win-win for parents and kids.
Make the most out of your family's summer! Have fun, work smart, and learn always.
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